My Way of Dreaming

Bright Lights 32

2012-02-07T20:52:00.003-04:00

He moved my body so that I’m facing him. He had both hands on my tiny waist. I felt so little between his grip.

Fahad: yal 3a9la

Me: I’ll take that as a complement

Fahad: yal the8a

Me: e7gli

I slowly got away from his grip and swam away. Every time he gets closer, I would swim further.

Fahad: shetsaween (he’s wondering why I’m not letting him near me)

Me: mu hatha (pointing at my body) mu 3ajbk … shtaby lazg feni 3ayal

He laughed.

I laughed along with him but still didn’t let him get any closer.

Fahad: y3ni ma agdar a9eedch?

Me: try me

I swam as fast as I could, trying to reach the dock before he could get to me.

Suddenly I felt his arms around my waist carrying me towards him,

Fahad: HAHA T7ADEENI HAA?

Me: HAHA NO, LET GO!!

He turned me around; so that my right side was touching his bare chest. he was holding my body that my feet are not touching the bottom of the lake anymore.

We were still laughing as he was planting kissed from my cheek back to my neck.

Me: HOODZ … KHALA9 YOU’RE … TICKLING ME!

I tried to let go of his grip but he was stronger.

This is what happened all day. We were just fooling around and having fun. We didn’t have any conversation or any argument. The day was perfect.

By the time the sky got darker, we decided to get out of the lake. It was against the camp rules to swim at night. Fahad doesn’t know about what the girl and I had in mind. We’re definitely swimming naked tonight.

He helped me get up on the dock.

Me: shoof a9ab3y they’re all wrinkly… wayd 6awalna (I told him as I was drying myself with my towel)

Fahad: eeh yal 3ayooz

Me: hey, it’s not just my fingers, 7eta enta yal shayb.

He smiled …

I wore my dress over the bikini

Me: khnroo7 el campfire akeed kelhm hnak now.

Fahad: mashy, bs ana rad el cabin abadel w ayy … awa9lch you’re cabin?

Me: la 3ady I’ll come with you, an6erk … ana mani embadla

Fahad: eli labsta shafaf, ma tg3deen jdam el shabab chethy

Me: kaify

Khazny khaza eli ana te9arwa3t!

Me: shnu y3ni, kho it’s dark mara7 ebayn shay … w it’s not like I don’t photo shoot eb bikini!

He gave me his back as he was walked to his cabin. I followed and he was ignoring my existence.

Me: Fahad shda3wa, y3ni za3alt?

Fahad: 9aba (he stood up in front of his cabin door not letting me walk in) emshay jdamy le your cabin w badlay eli 3aleech

Me: wai3 y3ni you have to ruin everything … tawa shzeenk bel lake … wai3 wai3 don’t talk to me!

I left him and walked to the cabin.

3nad 3aleeh I’m not going to change! Kaify! Besides we’re going to swim b3dain fa mala da3i abadel uff!

I stormed into my cabin; the girls were there.

Nicole: whoa, what did he do now?

Me: stupid ass Fahad wants me to change into something decent to wear in front of the guys … he thinks this is too revealing.

Emma: so what now? He’s your boyfriend?

Me: no but…

7aneen: what’s the big deal, just change into another dress… Abdullah is always like that … I’m not allowed to wear shorts and stuff in front of guys and what not.

We all turned to face her… She was barely wearing anything. She was wearing the smallest shorts ever and a tank top that was barely covering her tummy and cleavage.

7aneen: WHAT? (Surprised by the way we were looking at her)

We all gave her the look-at-what-your-wearing look

7aneen: well, he’s not here and he can’t see what I’m wearing … besides he’s not my husband yet

Me: and you’re telling me to listen to Fahad because?

7aneen: my point is, please him when you’re with him and when you’re not please yourself

Nicole: that’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard

Emma: whatever Saba; show him who the boss is, and show him some skin!

Me: haha see that’s more like it!

We all walked out and headed to the campfire. The guys came and hugged me welcoming me back.

As I was letting go of Hans, I saw Fahad coming towards the fire. Burning me with his death stares.

His stares actually scared the shit out me.

I gave him a look and turned my head the other way y3ny za3lana. I wanted to show him ena I don’t care w eni mu khayfa mn na’6rata.

7aneen: you’re dead meat (she whispered into my ears)

Me: chubbay mu waqtch!

7aneen: gomay badlay

Me: I think ohwa m3a9b coz he saw me hugging Hans … w Hans el 8aleel adab his hands were all over me (I whispered to her)

7aneen: ya salam 3aleech!

Me: shtabeeni asawi y3ni he’s not my boyfriend mala 7ag yt7akam feni

7aneen: come on y3ni it’s obvious that he’s into you

Me: shsawii enzain?

7aneen: madry, wait b3dain go talk to him

Me: you know what, I’m going to Cloud, akeed etha shafny g3da amshy broo7y ra7 eyy

7aneen: no talk to him jdamna … akhaf etha kntaw bro7km esawi feech shay mayendara

Me: heey 7aram tara he’s not that bad!

7aneen: w gemna endaf3 3ana

Me: chub

I stood up looking at him; he was staring at me of course. I gave him a seductive look wanting him to follow me as I turned around and walked to the stables; I hope he gets the sign.

I went to Cloud; he didn’t follow. I waited and waited. I waited for hours. It was almost midnight. He didn’t show up. He’s definitely mad at me.

Fuck, now how am I going to fix this?

I said bye to Cloud and walked back to my cabin. I figured everyone is back to sleep. We have a competition tomorrow; they’re probably resting.

On my way to the cabin I heard some voices, people arguing,

…: LA TYEEBEEN 6ARY EKHTY 3ALA LSAANICH!! Wa9akhtay esmha bema feeh el kfaya … Ma t3btaay yuba khala9 gelnaalch manabeech!! Wakhraay 3anii wakhraay 3an ahalii … w la t7sbeeni madry entay shetsaween hnee … sowalf Danoo ma tamshy 3aley ana!

Rawan (his sister), the bitch Dana (my cousin)!!! What the F is Dana and Wasan up to?

...: el kel yadry enk ga3d tel3ab 3ala Mackenzie … nadry enk ma tabeeha

…: al3aab 3aleeha ma al3aab entay shaku, 9aba kha6eebty 76ay hal shay eb balich

…: w shnu y3ni kha6eeebtk … ana kent kha6eebtk … Sara kanat kha6eebtk w Jana b3d kanat kha6eebtk … mu shay ydeed 3alaik ya Fahad! W kelna nadry nehayat hal 3ala8at sh9aar feeha!

I got closer to where they were; I wanted to hear their conversation. I know I’m not supposed to spy on them but, hey, they mentioned my name so it’s probably about me.

Wasan: ana akthar wa7da a3rfk! Enta tekrah Mackenzie musta7eel t7bha, musta7eel tzawajha! Enta 7a6 shay eb balik; 9adigni ra7 a3arfa.

Fahad: shtabeen to9leenla bel’9ab6… yuba ana ma abeech, entay ma t9l7eenli … shfkni mnch al7een!

Wasan: laish g3d et7acheeni chethy! You were mine Fahad, kent t7bni sh9aar feek! Chum mara afahmik eli 9ar wasn’t my fault… law ma9ar eli 9ar chan e7na al7een together

That was it, I couldn’t handle it

Me: But you’re not together, he’s not yours anymore

Wasan: w entay em9adgta, 3baalich bekaml m3aach! Se2lee chum kha6eeba w 7abeba kanaw 3enda… ma tzawj lel7een yel3b w etha khatha eli yabee behedich! W kh9oo9an entay Mackenzie. Madry hal 7ub meta 6la3. Enta tekrah tsm3 esmha, faj2a 9arat kha6eebtk!

Me: hatha shay baini w baina,

Wasan: don’t say I never warned you

Me: mashkoora bs mala da3ii,

She turned around and walked away,

Fahad: men meta entay hne? Shnu sm3tay?

I looked at him not bothering to smile.

Me: ma sm3t shay mhm… ana baroo7 7ag my friends tabi shay? (I turned around ready to leave)

Ma gedart ag3d m3ah any longer,

He used to hate me! What is this to him! Am I one of his games?

Fahad: 9aba?

Me: hala? (Not bothering to look at him)

Fahad: We need to talk

Me: 3adi you don’t have to explain youself … maku shay baina 3ashan a7asbk 3aleh

I started walking away. I can feel him following.

Fahad: ne6ray,

I stoped and finally turned to face him. I waited for him to talk,

Fahad: laish ma badaltay?

Me: malik shghl … you don’t have the right to ask me all of those questions

Fahad: asf 3ala eli sm3tee, maku shay baini w bainha

Me: I know w mayhmni a9lan …

Bright Lights 31

2012-01-31T17:41:00.002-04:00

Dedicated to Bint_z3aab ;*

thank you guys for your comments,

ana 9ayra always busy, but I'm trying my best to write a post once a week.

I'm reading your comment and i'm loving most of them … i'm sorry that i'm not replying to you guys

thank you so much for reading and for your support ;*

and for the anonymous commenters, can you please write your initials or name 3ashan afarg bainkm

Enjoy ;**

_____________________

Fahad: 9aba (he whispered) yalla w9alna

I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

Me: Hey Hoody

I can't stop saying his name!!

Me: can't wait to tell the girls about you

Fahad: whoa! N6ray … jdam el nas etnadeeni Fahad (he ordered)

Me: how about, no.

I got up and walked down the plane.

We walked out of the airport and the driver drove us to camp.

It was 9 am; I bet the girls were still in bed. As soon as I got there I ran straight to our cabin.

Me: I'M BAAACK!!

Emma: SHUT UP!

Me: GET UP!! There's something I need to tell you

7aneen: ugh Saba, I'm sure that thing can wait

Me: No get up!! All of you!! Now!

I turned around and searched for Wasan,

Me: where's Wasan?

Nicole: she moved in with her friend

Me: who?

Nicole: some girl from her team, she's been hanging a lot with lately

Me: that's good news!... Fahad is Hooody!

Emma: and who's that

Me: one of my childhood friends

Emma: okay?

Me: we were close

7aneen: how come you never mentioned him

Me: I don't know, coz I just forgot all about him

Emma: so?

Me: he's amaaaazing

Emma: since when he's amazing?

Me: since yesterday when I found out he's Hoody

Emma: what's that ring!! (Looking at the engagement ring)

Me: you like?

7aneen: I LOVE!!

Nicole: awww how cute !! I want one, let's find me a fiancé

7aneen: how's Fahad?

Me: he's great

7aneen: what happened between you two?

Me: well, a lot happened

Emma: you slept with him *shocked*

Me: what the fuck! NO! Why would you think that!

Emma: look at you, you're like madly in love with him and happy and all that!

Me: still that won't make me have sex with him. And I'm not in love with him! I'm just happy I knew he was Hoody that's all

7aneen: did he kiss you again after that night

Me: yes !! (I said with a grin)

Emma: ohh dear God!

Me: Emma, he's really a good guy... I trust him, I know he'd never hurt me

Emma: why are you so sure?

Me: I trust Hoody more than I trust myself

Emma: okay then, I'm happy for you

7aneen: How does he feel about you calling him Hoody?

Me: oh! Haha he hates it. He doesn't want me to call him Hoody in public.

Nicole: poor guy

Me: He said he loves me

7aneen: no way!

Me: I know, it’s so confusing … he loves me but I don’t know in what way …

Emma: what do you mean?

I told them all about what happened yesterday.

And then they got dressed and walked to the food court for them to get breakfast.

I didn't see Fahad. I figured he was sleeping.

After breakfast I excused myself and went to check up on Cloud.

Me: Clooouddd I miisssed yoou ...

I sat down and started talking to cloud like I always do. She's a good listener.

...

...: 9abaa

Me: hmm

...: gomay laish nayma hnee

Me: hmm (I sat straight and rubbed my eyes) I was talking to Cloud and accidentally slept.

Fahad: yallah emshay m3ay (he stretched his hand out for me to hold)

I held his hand for support and stood up. He walked me to my cabin.

Me: wain btroo7?

Fahad: madry ymkin atmasha

Me: can I come with?

Fahad: ok

Me: wait I wanna change into my swimsuit

Fahad: el jaw barid elyoom mu mal sba7a

Me: la2 3adi I wanna swim!

Fahad: kaifch yalla lbsay w t3aleeli my cabin

Me: okaay

I walked into my cabin. The girls were chillin there.

Me: wassup bitches?

Emma: not much ... What are you up to?

Me: I'm going for a swim with Fahad (I went to my closet and grabbed a bikini)

Nicole: that's nice, can we join?

7aneen: NO! Leave them alone... We can swim tonight when everyone is asleep like the old days!

Emma: yaaaaay swim NAKED!!!

In the previous years, after midnight, we sneak to swim in the lake naked. No one knows about it. We’re not allowed to but since when do we follow the camp rules?

7aneen: But only if the guys were asleep

Me: whatever you guys decide...

I walked into the bathroom to change. I wore my Babajaan, Lari Ocean high-waisted bikini, and a matching dress for cover up.

When I was done I walked to Fahad's cabin, knocked and then walked it.

Me: Hoody?

Fahad: kani yalla

We walked together to the lake. I placed my towel on the dock and took off the dress I was wearing. I cought Fahad looking at me. I mean come on, why wouldn’t he, I’m Mackenzie.

Me: you like what you see? (I placed my hands on my waist showing him my body)

Fahad: hmmm khanshoof (he came closer, he placed his right hand on my left hand shoulder and kept looking down my body, checking it out) hmmm Naah, I’ve seen better

Me: *gasp* ugh get away from me! You’re lucky a9lan to be that close to me!

I pushed him a step backward and in return he pushed me harder making me fall backward into the water.

Me: FUCK IT’S COLD!! … GET IN HERE…

He took off his shirt, throwing it behind him, and dove into the water and swam over until he was few feet away from me.

I went under the water closer to the bottom... I started moving further away from Fahad. I stayed under water for as long as I could hold my breath. I slowly brought my head up and out and took a deep breath. The water felt amazing on my skin.

I turned around to see Fahad still in his place; he saw me looking at him and smiled; I smiled back.

We didn’t exchange a word, our eyes were saying it all.

He was getting closer to me. I didn’t move I wanted him near me.

Looking at his face I can’t help but see the little kid I used play with. The one I loved dearly. How did life bring us together? Why now, after all of these years?

Fahad: shetfakreen fee?

Me: still can’t get over the fact that you’re Hoody

Fahad: radeena!

Me: haha shsawii walla mu gadra astw3b

Fahad: ma3a el waqt you’ll manage to take all of this in

Me: yeah,

I brought myself closer to him and wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He placed his hand on back.

He leaned his head and I gave him a peck on the lips and smiled. My lips were still on his lips; I can feel him smiling too.

He moved my body so that I’m facing him. He had both hands on my tiny waist. I felt so little between his grip.

Fahad: yal 3a9la

Me: I’ll take that as a complement

Fahad: yal the8a

Bright Lights 30

2012-01-23T19:35:00.001-04:00

Me: to be honest, I don’t trust Fahad, I trust Hoody!

Fahad: shelfarg!

Me: there is a huge difference! … I don’t like Fahad! Fahad hates me, and he is so bossy, 8aleel adab w may7trmni, Fahad is the evil side of you, he’s the devil himself!

Fahad: w Hoody?

Me: I LOVEEEE HOOODY!!! Hoody is an angel!!!! 7ada 6aaayb w may7b eza3lni, ekhaaf 3alay, w kela yen9a7ni .. Hoody kel shay zaain!

Fahad: aaffa y3ni ana 6ool hal moda kent Fahad… eli tkrheena !! shda3wa y3ni ma 7aseetay eni Hoody

Me: hmmmm not really but now looking back,… y3nii, remember the time when I had the dream, that was Hoody, and the time lmn ne9a7tni 3ala lebsy, that was also Hoody, and the time lmn 3a9abt laish re7t party with my girl-friends … w lmn we were horse back riding bel camp, we were having fun, hatha kela kan Hoody m3ay… I know sa3at etza3lni but sometimes you kindda have a point... BUT let me tell you 3an Fahad, remember the first week of camp, oh my god it was hell, remember how you treated me lmn we were in the woods, 9arakht 3alay w khaleetni ahidk w aroo7 broo7i, you never followed me, Hoody would never let me go, kan ekhaf 3alay… b3d I remember the first couple of days of camp and how we were always fighting, that was all Fahad. He’s 8aleel adab he always calls me Blondie,

Fahad: you realize ena Fahad wagf jdamich w etgoleenla 8aleel adab w saket!

Me: oh so now you’re turning all Fahad on me! … stay as Hoody I like him better

Fahad: 3ayal ana a7b 9aba Alflani akthar mn Mackenzie (he sat on the side of bed)

Me: laa walla laish enshallah!

Fahad: l2n mat3jbni sowalf el modeling eli tsaweenha

Me: I guess we’re equal … you hate me and I hate you

Fahad: 9aba alflani ma tkrahni

Me: now she does

Fahad: laah

He pulled my waist to him. I was now standing between his legs in front of him while he was sitting on the bed

Fahad: akeed ma t7beeni?

Me: I don’t like you (I held his face between my hands while I stared into his dark chocolate eyes)

Fahad: met2akda (he whispered in his deep voice)

Me: aham

Our faces got closer

Fahad: w al7een

His voice made my body tingle with that odd sensation.

Me: maybe I’ll like Fahad better if he kissed me (I whispered)

I leaned my forehead against his, my lips slightly touching his,

I gave him a peck on the lips and pulled away

Me: Hoody (I whispered)

Fahad: hmm?

Me: so tell me what happened when I left… how are the others?

Fahad: maku, Saloom 7abeebich tezawaj, w a7medo lel7eena sarsary, w 9aloo7 haha Allah yaster 3aleh

Me: SAAALOOOM TZAWAJ!!

Fahad: w yatla bnaya

Me: ambeeeeeh 7ada 9’3eer chum 3umra 17, 18?

Fahad: la yuba, 24

Me: 3abali a9’3ar meni 3ashan chethy kent a7baa, kent a7s baby!! Mu layg yetzawaj

I can’t believe it… Saloomi is older than me!! why did I ever think he was younger!

Fahad: etha radena el Kuwait awadeech enzoorhm shofay benta netfa bs shee6aanaa!

Me: CUTE!

Fahad: om lsaaaaaan, nezgha w kalamha kalam 3yayiz

Me: yaakhty a7b sowalf el banat … shwagtni wedi ashoofha w ashoof Saloomii!!

Fahad: rayal shkubra sh6ola sh3ur’9a Saloomi

Me: he’ll always be my lil brother (or older) … waay Hoody thakartny eb ayaaam 7elwaaa kent nasyat’ha

Fahad: enshallah etrdeen et3esheenha

Me: enshallah…

Fahad: enzain yalla ta3alay khemday bacher warana g3da mn el 9b7

I jumped into bed… we both cuddled next to each other

I tried to sleep but couldn’t … I was remembering the old days,

Me: Fahad? (I whispered)

Fahad: hmm

I knew he was asleep.

Me: goom I can't sleep (I whispered again) Hoody stay up with me

Fahad: shfeech? (He whispered in a sleepy voice)

Me: mafeni shay bs mu daykkha

Fahad: hmm

Me: Hoody do you still love me? Y3ni methil awal?

I waited for him to answer but I knew he went back to sleep and didn’t hear a word I said.

I closed my eyes and after what seemed like forever I slept.

Fahad: 9aba yalla gomay

Me: No, (I started whinning) tawni nayma .. Khalni anam shway

Fahad: matabeen tro7een el camp?

Me: emballah bs abi anam

I was so sleepy I couldn't open my eyes

Fahad: enzain gomay al7een w namay bel 6ayara

Me: hmm okay, five more minutes

...

Fahad: yalla gomay khaletch etnameen 3asher dgayg

Me: uggh pleaase

Fahad: 3ashan eta2dbeen ams agoolch namay ga3da 6ool el lail etsolfeen m3a ro7ch

Me: (I sat up) I wasn't talking to myself I was talking to you

Fahad: ma sm3t wala kelma gelteeha

Me: whatever... (I laid my head back on the pillow and drifted off to sleep)

Fahad: 9aba etgoomeen wela asheelch eb bajamtch w awadeech el ma6ar

Me: ugghh Hoodz! Walla ma nmt kelish (I covered my head with the blanket) saker el lights

Fahad: gomay (he pulled the blanket away) 3a6etch wayh ana

Me: Fahaaad!!

Fahad: Goomay t2khrna!

Me: you’re so annoying

I felt him sit next to me.

Fahad: ekhthay lebsay hatha

I opened my eyes a little and saw an outfit he picked

Me: bnro7 el camp laish kel hatha … Get me a training shorts and a tank top

He came back with a training pants and a shirt

Me: were you even listening?

Fahad: khal9eena eb talbseen wela albsch

Me: okay, okay a39abk

I pulled the training pants from him. Thank God I was wearing a dress. I placed the pants on.

Me: close your eyes

I didn't wait for him to close them, I took off the dress, I was only wearing my bra. I placed the shirt on and laid myself back in bed.

Fahad: maku fayda! .. Ay jooty tabeen

Me: abi the pink flats

Fahad: ay wa7d

Me: ughh the pink one!

Fahad: malyoon jooty wardy hnee

Me: Hooodz lw gayma labsa broo7i a7saanli, 6ayrt el noom mn 3aini!

Fahad: eeh mu hatha el ma6loob!

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I washed my face and did my business, applied a little make up on, and then walked out.

Fahad: aghra'9ch betkhalenhm

Me: eeh geltlk ams, my manager is gonna send them to my house.

Fahad: yalla 3ayal meshaina

Me: Hood

Fahad: nadeeni Fahad

Me: from now on, I'mma call you Hoody, Hoodz, and Hood for shortcut

Fahad: (he shook his head right and left y3ni mu 3ajba el 7achi) enzain shbaghaity

Me: la bs mu m9adga enk Hoody

Fahad: hathy 3asher mara et3eden hal jomla

Me: shasawi walla lw ent mkani chan 9ar feek nafsi

We went to the car. The driver took us to the airport; as usual paparazzi were there. For fame's sake those paparazzi are everywhere.

We finally got into my mom’s jet.

Me: I'm sleepy

Fahad: la7'9a, eklay shay gabl la tnameen

Me: I'm not hungry

Fahad: ma 3aleh eklay shway, ams ma akaltay shay

He handed me a croissant, I ate it and laid my chair down and slept.

...

Fahad: 9aba (he whispered) yalla w9alna

I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

Bright Lights 29

2012-01-15T14:41:00.002-04:00

Hey guys, what's up?

How are the finals going? Enshallah everything is going well.

and for those who are done with finals, hope you're having a wonderful winter break. … Have fun and enjoy it!

I just started my spring semester, I'm so jealous of you guys … I want a long break. I need summer ;'(

6awalt 3aleekm, sorry ;$

Enjoy ;*

_____________________

Me: How about we play the questions game… it’s basically me asking you questions and you answering them

Fahad: ya 7ubch 7ag el as2ela

Me: no, no, I’m serious, I’ll get to know you better…

I sat on the twirling chair by the desk, while Fahad was still on the bed.

Fahad: okay, yallah se2lay shnu tabeen t3rfeen

Me: hmm so where do I start?... (I started twirling with the chair and then when I came up with the question I stopped and turned to him) Hmm okay, laish baba ma gali about Faisal ena kh6abny?

Fahad: l2n oboch mayr'9a takhtheena (He said in a stern tone)

Me: okay let's get this straight, What are you hiding from me!!

Fahad: ma khasheet 3anich shay.. geltlch kel elsalfa awal yoom camp.

Me: you always tense up when I mention Wasan's name and now the same thing with Faisal!

Fahad: Entay malich shghl eb la Faisal wala Wasan … hatha el shay baini w bainhm, mu mn 7agch etdakhleen

Me: ley 7ag etha kan shay ekh9ni

Fahad: entay mat3rfeen walaaa shay !! La tsaween ro7ch fahma w 3arfa, you do as I say.

Me: no, I told you once w agolk eyaha mara thania, I don’t work for you Fahad.

Fahad: Faisal etsheleena mn balich

Me: enta 7a6eet el fekra eb rassy… I’m gonna meet him once I get back to Kuwait… maybe he’s willing to tell me what you can’t say.

Embayn 3aleh ena wayd em39b bs he’s trying to control his anger.

He came to where I was sitting and stood there,

Fahad: (he breathed in and said) 9aba!

Me: n3m

Fahad: sh9ar, tawa mafeech shay… laish chethy faj2a tbeen et3rfeen Faisal.

Me: coz I wanna know what’s happening… I’m so confused about all of this

Fahad: shnu eli you’re confused about w ana afahmich

Me: laish ma tabeeni atgarab mn Faisal?… w b3dain I get ena Wasan was your ex but that doesn’t mean you can make me stay away from her.

Fahad: ENTAAAY SHAKU FEEEHM!

Me: Fahad la t9arkh (I said between gritted teeth)

Fahad: Narfazteeni!

Me: sh7ga etgool ana shaku! 3ayal ana hnee shga3da asawy .. mu kel hatha eb sebat Faisal.. kel hatha 3ashan gal yabi yetzawjni! … ana eli el mafroo’9 agoolk shaku !!

Fahad: shlon ana shaku w ana abi el shareka m3a obooch

Me: okay dreena taboon shareka ma9arat shareka!! bs abeek etfahmni shnu maw83k enta hnee m3ay pretending to be my fiancé

Fahad: gaylch el salfa w mala da3i a3eedha

Me: you told me part of the story!! Abi a3rf el salfa kamla … what was the reason that made you do this!! laish gh9abtni eni amathl eni akoon kha6eebtk .. there is a hundred way to solve this … but why this way … I could’ve met him and made him change his mind about me. I would’ve came up with a lot of ways to get rid of him but NO, you chose this! (I held my hand up for him to see the ring in my finger)

Fahad: 9arlna more than three weeks 9aba w tawch tstw3been kel hatha !! laish ma sa2altay mn gbl, laish al7een!

Me: coz you just made me realize all of this! fe enna wara kel hal salfa … I’m gonna meet Faisal and there’s nothing you can do about it

Fahad: 9ABA!! (3a9ab) khal asm3 esma 3ala lsaanich w raaabii …

And before he continues with his threat I cut him off saying,

Me: FAISAL, FAISAL, FAISAL!! Go ahead !! here, I said it!! Faisal, Faisal !! what are you going to do about it!

He held my arm really tight, it started to hurt but I didn’t say anything I know he was losing it.

Fahad: Faisal etsheelena mn balich entaay mu lah

Me: you don’t have the right to say this (I tried to pull my arm from his grip but he was holding too tight)… I’m the one who decides … and just because I’m not his doesn’t mean I’m yours!

Fahad: Entay ley, ma7ad ra7 yakhtch meni, la Faisal wala ghaira (he stated and let go of my arm)

Whaa … :O

Me: We’re getting married aren’t we? (I whispered)

I know he has his ways to make me do what he wants. My dad probably planed this with him! They’re going to make me marry him!

NO WAY IN HELL!

Fahad: mu al7een

Me: What does that supposed to mean? Chethy 3ala kaifk, 3abalik ra7 atzawjk… I don’t love you, I don’t even know you! … We both know you don't care about me!!! I don’t know what you are up to Fahad! I know it has something to do with Faisal and Wasan… I promise you I will know, and once I do, and find out that its something that will hurt me, I swear I wont let you be… I’m not that same girl M7ammad played on, I learned a lot from my past experience, … I know you know me, so I’m guessing you know what I can do … I’m Saba Mackenzie, don’t forget that

Fahad: I’m doing all of this to protect you… I’m not m7amad! I don’t work for anyone! Etha hatha eli entay khayfa mena! Entay ley ana, tadreen shnu y3ni!! Y3ni ana 7a6ch eb rassy.. hal 7achi mu mn yoom youmeen, hal 7achi mn sneen … 9aba 7ag Fahad w Fahad 7ag 9aba!

Me: lw ana 9ij kent 7agk… chan ma kh6abt Wasan chan ma fkrt eb ghairy … w enta shtabi feeenii I’m not your type! I DON’T WANT YOU!

I thought with that I would shut him up, but it didn’t

Fahad: you’re not my type and that’s one of the reasons re’9eet eb Wasan… w 3ala fekra Wasan mu awal wa7da eb 7yaty … aku ghairha alf wa7da, … ana saweet kel hatha bas 3ashan mabi afaker feech walla abi a7ad egooli ena entay ley!

Me: I don’t get it… one minute you want me, and the other you don’t

Fahad: my point is, 7awalt 3ala kethr ma agdar eni a7b wa7da ghairch bs ma gdart

Me: SHNU ET7BNY! How can you love someone you never met?

He’s so stupid!

Fahad: you’re unbelievable, … your whole childhood bl Kuwait kanat m3aay! And you don’t remember anything!

Me: I remember my childhood pretty well, and I’m sure you were not in it. … you’re probably so obsessed with Saba Mackenzie that you’ve lost your mind, you started making stories and believing them (I said in a disgusted tone)

The last thing I needed was a crazy obsessive Mackenzie fan

He came closer to me, his hands reached for his laptop and he started clicking with the mouse staring at the screen

Me: what are you doing?

Kelish mu waqta

Fahad: shofay (He turned the laptop to me)

I stared at the screen … there were some pictures of me when I was about the age of 7 or 8. I was with my my favorite childhood friend, I remember him clearly, I remember everything… but why is Fahad showing me pics of Hoody and me together,

Me: that’s Hoody, what happened to him… I haven’t seen him for so long… how did you get those pictures? … and why are you showing me these?

He didn’t reply

And then suddenly I gasped and turned to face him,

Me: (I whispered) Hoody?

Fahad: I never liked the nickname, it sounds so gay

I ran to him and gave him a hug. I was suddenly laughing and crying out of joy, I guess

Me: Hooooody … I can’t believe this!! … I missed you, laaish chethy hadeetni wala sa2alt 3aanii!! …

I dug my face into his neck and cried. I didn’t know why I was crying. Was it because I was happy to see my Hoody or because I missed my Hoody and at this time I really needed to see him.

I lifted my head… I wanted to see his face,

Me: ambeeh Hoody it is you… why didn’t I ever notice!! Laish ma geltly!! (I dug my face back into his neck)

Fahad hugged me back, I know he was smiling

I let go of him and stood in front of him.

Me: Hoody?!! .. a7s mayloog 3aleek Hoooody!! You used to be so innocent and so nice

Fahad: I’m still the same Hoody

Me: No, what happened to you! you’re Fahad, you became so mean. I never thought you’d turn out this way…

Fahad: y3ni khala9 you don’t like me any more

Me: emballaah akeeed I like you (I hugged him once again)

I still couldn’t believe this.

Hoody was out of my life as soon as I moved to the US. I never heard his name in years. In fact, I never knew his real name, all I knew was he was Hoody! My hero.

Me: wain r7t kel hal sneen … laish ma sa2lt 3ani! You know I missed you

Fahad: ana sa2alt 3anich w kent 3arf kel akhbarich bs entay eli nsaiteeni

Me: madry … ever since I left Kuwait I knew I’d never see you again, I never bothered to ask

Fahad: laish, what made you think that you’ll never see me again

Me: you were not my cousin, enta kent weld wa7d mn rab3 obooi … ma kent ashoofk ela etha obooi wadani m3ah el dowanya … b3dain ana kobart w obooi ma gam ewadeni m3ah l2n 3aib and all that… w at that time ana ma kent ayy el Kuwait wayd kent ayy two weeks, I can barely spend them with my family. To be honest, I forgot about you. maku shay kan ethakerni feek… 7eta ma kan 3endi pics of you.

Hoody was the childhood friend who was so protective. He’s 4 years older than me, people never understood why he would let me hang with him and his friends. Hoody was the only one who I would listen to. He used to get angry with me when I do something he doesn’t like, he would later come and apologize for getting mad and start explaining what I did wrong. He would always advice and lectures me. His friends were always scared to approach me, they were scared to ask me to play with them. They would take Hoody’s permission first and then if he says yes, I would play with them. He wouldn’t let me play with anyone, I could only play with the kids he knew and trusted. He was like a brother to me.

Fahad: mestansa eni Hoody? Ra7 ytghayr shay now that you know eni Hoody?

Me: akeed mestansa!! Hoody you know how much you used to mean to me! w akeed tatetghayr waayd ashya2 … I know who you are !! I can trust you now.

Fahad: laish y3ni gabl ma kentay wath8a feni?

Me: to be honest, I don’t trust Fahad, I trust Hoody!

Fahad: shelfarg!

Bright Lights 28

2012-01-09T19:38:00.000-04:00

Sorry 3al t2kheeer ;$

ENJOY ;**

________________

There were some behind the scenes videos.

Me: let's watch the videos in the end, okay

He nodded.

We continued looking at the photos and I kept writing down the ones we like. We actually liked most of them but we didn’t want to choose any of the one’s where we were both kissing or the one’s we were touching.

The magazine can choose the ones they like from the ones we picked. The ones we didn’t pick were off limit; They can’t be published.

Fahad started playing the behind the scenes videos,

This is gonna be interesting,

The scene where we were pausing in the old truck was playing. That scene was the scene when Fahad was kissing me and I wasn’t kissing him back.

I can see through the corner of my eye that Fahad was staring at me.

I turned my head to look at him and giggled.

Fahad: ashofch te'97keen

Me: it's funny, you actually thought I'd kiss you back! Look at you, you're dying there, begging me

I started laughing at the video. It was hilarious.

I was still laying on my tummy. I turned my body around so the I was laying on my back, to make it easier for me to laugh.

I saw him smiling.

Me: you should be happy there are no more photo shoots like this, no more torturing

Fahad: torturing ha?

Me: yeah (I said giggling)

He suddenly change his position and came on top of me. His hands were by my head. Looking directly into my eyes, he moved one of his hands to my cheeks, moving the hair away from my face. I could feel my skin burning just by his touch. His face got closer to mine, slowly went down to my neck.

I felt his lips touch my skin. He trailed some kissed till he reached my ear.

Fahad: a3almch el torturing 3ala o9oola (he whispered from behind my ears)

The room suddenly felt hot. I forgot how to breathe. My heart was beating so fast I thought literally it was going to explode.

I couldn’t take it any longer, I placed my hand on his waist,

but he pushed it, pulling both of my hands over my head and held them there,

Fahad: no, no, no touching

THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!

He resumed the kisses on my cheeks traveling down near my lips.

I was going insane, with need for him.

Do he have any idea of the affect he has on me?

I turned my head so that his lips would touch mine,

I kissed him, but he wouldn't kiss back.

His lips moved to my shoulder and gave me a peck there.

Fahad: you’re not the only one who knows how to tease (he whispered into my ears)

STOP KILLING ME!

Me: Fahad (I whispered almost begging)

As soon as I said his name, he crushed his lips into mine; I knew he wouldn't resist my sexy voice, no one ever did.

He finally released my hands, I stretched them to his shoulder, trying to pull him closer.

He had one hand by my head where it's keeping him balance his weight, and the other hand was moving up and down my waist.

We pulled away from each other to catch our breaths.

His kisses trailed down to my neck, then to my collarbone.

I didn't want Fahad to go down any further. My hands went to his face as I pulled it closer to mine.

I couldn’t get enough of his lips.

And then suddenly,

His phone started ringing next to my head,

I quickly turned my head towards it.

The name DANA was all over the screen...

I closed my eyes… I felt Fahad’s body move away from ine

I rolled around and jumped off of the bed.

Fahad answered the phone while staring at me.

I didn't know what to do. I made myself look busy and walked towards the laptop.

Fahad: aloo *e7m* hala Dana … la maku … eeh lat7ateen, … khala9 adizlich el sayeg bacher … entay 2amray, …

Wai3 why is he talking to her that way! khatwali hathy mal en3al 3ala ras’ha.

I decided to work on the photos that we had to choose ...

I selected all of the photos we chose and emiled them to my manager. She was going to take care of everything.

Fahad: ma saweet shay bent 3amy, … khala9 digay etha shay nag9ich. 7yaach… ma3a alsalama, ma3a alsalama.

He hung up, I didn’t bother to ask him what she was up to. she was the last person I wana hear about,

Fahad: Dana etsalm 3alaich, bacher rada el Kuwait

I ignored him. Does he expect a “trou7-wtrd-belsalama” from me? Etkhasi; she could die, for all I care about.

Fahad: tara el bnaya et7bch, dayman tes2al 3anich, laish tkrheenha

I looked at him and ignored him… He knows why I hate her!

Fahad: 7eta 3mitch Mona 9adgeeni ma ykrhoonch

Me: and what are you trying to do. … I don’t care, kaifhom 7abooni ekrahooni, moshkelat’hom… w please la tyeeb 6arehm jdami

THANKS FOR RUINING MY EVENING!!

Why does Fahad have this affect on me … he can totally bright up my mood and then again he can totally crush it down.

I never really cared about what people say or talk … when I have a conversation when anyone and I wouldn’t like what they’re saying, I would simply walk away and not even think about it.

But when it comes to Fahad, whatever he says, stays in my head. Sometimes e’9aygni w sometime ewanisny. Honestly, all Fahad does is e’9aygni, I don’t know why I enjoy his company.

Me: prepare you’re things we’re leaving in the morning

Fahad: aghra’9ich shbtsaween fehom?

Me: I’ll send them to my mom’s workshop, they’ll take care of it.

Fahad: meta omch btrid?

Me: my mom is in Italy

Fahad: w obooch?

Me: at home

Fahad: t3alay omch lmn yat LA, wain eskanat

Me: here

Fahad: ghareeba y3ni ma yat 6alat 3alaich

Me: I’m not a kid anymore why would she check up on me

Fahad: hathy omch, mu lazm etkoneen yahel 3ashan et6aman 3alaich

Me: hatha shay 3adi … laish mestaghrb

Fahad: madry entay 7yatich kelha foog ta7at ghair 3an 7yatna

Me: my life is not that bad … omi w obooi mu mga9reen m3ay eb shay, 9ij eni ma ashoofhm wayd bs 3adi kelna ma 3endna time to spend with each other

Fahad: you’re the one who’s holding your parents to each other. lo mo entay chan omich w obooch mn zman met6algeen

Me: na3am?

Hatha shekharb6

Fahad: la t3a9been w etsaweenli salfa… 8a9di ena obooch dayman msafer w omch arb3 w 3shreen sa3a teshtghl w throwing parties. 9ara7a lw mu entay bainhm chan mn zmaan enfa9law

Me: my parents love each other… lw shnu they wont divorce

Fahad: 76ay mkanch mkan omch … tgdreen eta7amleen et3esheen 7yatch chethy w raylch kela bara el deera

Me: if I love him 3adi I’ll do whatever it takes to save my marriage

Fahad: ghreeba

Shnu elghareeb bel maw’9oo3!

Me: are you saying ena etha your wife kanat wayd teshtghl, you would divorce her?

Fahad: mara7 akhali murty tshtghl

Me: What world do you live in?!!!

Fahad: eli tabeeh bayeeblaha eyah .. mala da3i tshtghl mara7 akoon mga9er m3aha eb shay

Me: its not about the money Fahad! what if she likes her job… you can’t just make her quit

Fahad: etha she like it 3adi akhaleeha tshtghl bas mu arb3 w 3eshreen sa3a! ana laish makhth’ha! Ana abeeha tjabl bait’ha w 3yalha mu bas shughlha

Me: fair enough

Fahad: entay etha tabeen tshtaghleen 6ool el waqt ma tgoleenli sh7aga tetzawjeen

Me: I never said I’m getting married … enta broo7k 8arart … marriage is a huge responsibility, and I’m not up to it

Fahad: w etha 7abeetay a7ad

Me: I wont

I hope not!

Me: I’m bored … do you wanna watch a movie

Fahad: kaifch,

Me: or not, how about we play the questions game… it’s basically me asking you questions and you answering them

Fahad: ya 7ubch 7ag el as2ela

Me: no, no, I’m serious, I’ll get to know you better…

I sat on the twirling chair by the desk, while Fahad was still on the bed.

Fahad: okay, yallah se2lay shnu tabeen t3rfeen

Me: hmm so where do I start?... (I started twirling with the chair and then when I came up with the question I stopped and turned to him)

Bright Lights 27

2011-12-27T07:53:00.002-04:00

Dedicated to MTOAO :*

sam7ooni adry eni wayd g3da a6awel m3akm bs ana now bel kwt w you know 7ada loya ma 3endi waqt to write posts w chethy

enshallah lmn ard america i'll post more regularly.

sorry again :*

Enjoy ;*

________________

By the time the party was over, all of the girls I came with left the party to hook up with some random guys they met! I know, how cheap! Most of them were probably drunk and didn’t realize what they were doing any ways,

Couple of my guards was already waiting for me by the gate.

They walked me outside to my car. I was too exhausted to drive; one of the bodyguards drove me back to the hotel.

When I got there it was almost 3 am. I walked in without making any noise in case Fahad was sleeping.

To my surprise, Fahad was still up staring at his laptop screen. When he saw me, he turned around and started questioning me,

Fahad: wain kentay?

Me: I was out with some friends. And please stop acting like my father.

Fahad: shsawetaw?

Me: la tsawi ro7k ma tadry, akeed the guards gayleenlik… but in case you wanna hear it from me, we were partying, I would’ve invited you, but I knew it wasn’t your thing, sorry (I said with a smirk)

I grabbed my PJ and walked to the bathroom, I didn’t want to hear more of his questions,

I took a quick shower and then I walked right out, Fahad was still there sitting in the same place,

Me: laish ma nemt

Fahad: testahbleen!

Me: Fahad, stop it with the husband controlling behavior

Fahad: Obooch emwa9eeni 3alaich, y3ni ana mas2ool 3anich! Ana hal kharabee6 ma tamshi m3ay,

Me: Ana mas2oola 3an nafsi! I’m twenty-one, I’m grown up and I can take care of myself… cut it off Fahad!

Fahad: entaay meta betkabreen 3aglech! Omich w obooch emrabeench 3adel, ma rabooch 3ala hal ma9khara

Me: ever since I met you I’ve been an angel, bas I’m not always that good! so you either get used to it or not, it doesn’t matter. I guess there are still things you don’t know about me

Fahad: la t7sbeeni madry 3an those parties eli entay w rfejatch tro7onlohm bas twa8a3tch taghayarty…3gb m7amad ma gemtay troo7een hal amakin… entay Kuwaitia, hal ashya2 el mafroo’9 ma teyy 3ala balich w etsaweenha! Entay mu methlihom, entay deenich ghair!

Me: I don’t wanna argue with you! ana a3arf el 9a7 w el ghala6, ana elyoom ma saweet anything wrong… okay re7t el party bas kent me7tarma nafsi, …

This guy cracks me up. y3ni ent shaku feeni, I’m nothing bel nesba 7agik

Me: Fahaaad, why do you care? Y3ni I’m not your wife, bel 6gag let me do whatever I want

Fahad: entay wa7da men ahali, I do care. Y3ni mu 7aram etnazleen ras obooch, obooch shaykh9ya kbeera bel Kuwait, entay 3arfa 3adatna, hatha kel eli tsaween g3d eyeeb 7achi 3aleech w 3ala obooch w 3ala el 3ayla, y3ni shnu b9eer lw ma re7tay hal 7aflat, adry feech ench ma tsaween el ghala6 bas just going there bro7a besabib mshakel… … … n6ray 3ala akher elsboo3 akeed maku majala mu katba 3an eli sawetee, akeed al7een el 9owar tarsa el net, people bel Kuwait will judge you 7atan lw mayadroon shnu 9ar bel ‘9ab6! laish etyeben el 7achi 7ag nafsch!

Me: people already talk … bel Kuwait kel shay ma y3jbhm, kelish ma hamooni

Fahad: w ahalch mayhmoonch? 3abalch ahalich merta7een mn ta9arfatch… shofay shaklich shofay lebsich, shofay el 9owar eli t9awreenhm, shofay el amakin eli tro7eenlhm, 9ara7a shay efalshl w etgoleen laish 3mitch tkrhch! L2n el nas ma tasket, entay ma tesm3een eli yngal bel Kuwait, entay mu ga3d eta2atheen bas ahalch makleenha

Me: y3ni ana afashel?

Fahad: 7ag el Kuwait eeh

Me: why did you do all of this… enta tadry al7een el kel ra7 yetkalam 3anik coz your with me, g3d etnazl ras ahalik, ga3da afashelkom!

Fahad: entay ma tfashleeni… ana a3arfch 3adel w adry ma tsaween el ghala6 … bs mu m3nata ena 3ajbni elwa’93 eli entay feh

Me: my dad’s side chethy efakroon feni? Y3ni afashel w methl ma enta ga3d etgool?

Fahad: aghlabhom met’9aygeen mnch… wed’hom etaghayreen yaboonch trf3een ras’hm

Me: my mom’s side of the family are proud of me; they support me through everything I do. Estaghferallah ahali eli bel Kuwait ekarhoni eb 3eshty! Ohma shaku feeni!!!

Fahad: la t8arnen ahal omch eb obooch

Me: whatever, I’m tired Fahad… good night

I walked to bed and got into the sheets, I kept thinking of what Fahad just told me! al7een ana “afashel,” it hurts hearing it from him.

A tear escaped my eyes but I quickly wiped it away before Fahad could see it.

Fahad turned off the lights and came in bed next to. I was giving him my back. I felt him closer to me. His chest was to my back and his arms were wrapped around me.

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t even push him away. I was going to cry any second bs met7amla mabi abchi jedama.

Fahad: la tz3leen mn eli gelta ana abi ma9la7tch (he whispered)

…

I woke up the next day at around noon. We stayed up pretty late last night. This really messed up my sleeping pattern.

Fahad was sleeping peacefuly next to me. I moved his arms slowly from around me. I got up without making any noise and got into the shower.

I changed into a long pair of jeans and wore a flow white top.

I didn't want to wake Fahad up; he's probably tired.

I grabbed my bag and walked out.

One of my old guy friends, Sean texted me, he wanted to talk to me before I leave LA.

I told Sean we could meet up for lunch.

I told my driver to drive me to the restaurant

I waited for five minutes until Sean arrived.

We hugged, greeting each other, and then sat down at our table.

Me: how are things going with you and Sam? (I asked him about his girlfriend Samantha)

Sean: hmm … That's what I wanted to talk to you about

Me: Is she okay?

Sean: yeah she's fine I guess.

Me: what's wrong then? (I stretched my hand and held his hand; he looked like he has a lot in mind)

Sean: she's cheating on me

Me: oh *gasp* are you sure?

Sean: hundred percent sure

Me: why don't you break up with her then… You deserve some one better, someone who appreciates you

Sean: I love her... I can't imagine living my life without her... I was planning on proposing but then I found out and I'm not sure what to do

Me: Try talking to her, maybe it’s not what you think

Sean: I saw her kissing that bastard Garred

Me: ugh you know Garred; He probably kissed her and she had nothing to do with it

Sean: she's been spending a lot of time with him lately, and it’s not once that I caught them kissing

Me: does she know that you know

Sean: I don't think so

Me: I think you guys should talk about your relationship, if she's not sorry I think you should end it.

We talked more about him and his girlfriend problems. I asked him about his family and friends. I miss how things used to be with us, we were so close, more like best friends

Sean: I hear you're getting married

Me: speaking of which, let me just text him and tell him come join us, you guys should meet

I texted Fahad the name of the restaurant and asked him to come, he replied with an "Okay"

We only ordered appetizers since we got here; we decided to order our main course when Fahad’s gets here.

Thirty minutes later, Fahad showed up. He greeted me by kissing my cheek and shook hands with Sean.

Sean and Fahad seemed to get along pretty well. Sean started telling Fahad about some old funny, embarassy memories of him and me together.

It looks like Fahad is having a good time.

After lunch, we said goodbye to Sean, I wished him good luck on whatever he plans to do with Sam.

Fahad: tara bacher radeen el camp

Me: yeah wanasa I’m so excited, I miss my girls

He drove me back to the hotel.

Me: ra7 tazel 9a7?

Fahad: la2 baroo7 el jam3ya ashtry chum shaghla w rad mani em6awel

Me: good, l2n lazm nekhtaar el 9owar for the magazine…

Fahad: ee okay, rub3 sa3a w yay.

I got out of the car, the guards and security were around me, since the paparazzi were waiting for me… I walked into the lobby and walked to the elevators, and then to my suite.

I changed my clothes into a training pants and a t-shirt. I didn’t want to wear any thing short. It’s better not to expose any of my skin to him. I don’t want to hear yesterday’s lecture again.

I turned on the tv and started flipping through the channels, there wasn’t anything on to watch.

I laid down on bed and waited for Fahad.

Twenty minutes later, Fahad come in with snacks and some sodas. He placed the things on the kitchen counter. He grabbed his laptop. Then walked to the TV and connected the laptop to it’s screen, to get a better look at the photos.

I was laying on my tummy watching Fahad with my hands under my chin.

When he was done he came next to me with the little remote and started the slide.

He handed me a piece of paper to write down the number of each photo we’re gonna choose.

There were some behind the scenes videos.

Me: let's watch the videos in the end, okay

He nodded.

Bright Lights 26

2011-12-16T00:55:00.001-04:00

I was too busy looking and laughing at the photos, I didn’t realize the time. Fahad walked in, he was surprised to see me still awake.

Fahad: shga3d tsaween?

Me: don’t worry, ma t3abatht eb your laptop, I’m just looking at the photos we took today.

He took off his shirt, went to the closet took his PJ’s out and went to the bathroom to change.

Minutes later, he walked out, wearing only his Pj’s shorts, he was topless… God this man is burning me up with his hotness.

Fahad: sakray el laptop w namay esa3a wa7da. (He ordered)

Me: matabi etshoof el photos?

Fahad: ashofhom bacher ma 3endi shay.

Me: ma 3edk work bacher?

Fahad: I just took care of everything.

Me: I thought you went out with your friends?

Fahad: la2 rab3i bel Kuwait.

Me: oh okay.

Fahad: entay lel7een ma badaltay hdoomich?

Me: no, I didn’t realize the time.

I got up and took my beige silk tank top and matching mini shorts from the closet and walked to the bathroom.

After I was done, I walked out, couldn’t find Fahad anywhere,

Me: aaaaaaaaaahhh

Faj2a the door behind me opened making jump

Fahad: 7emdellah weshker

Me: khara3tni!!!! Chethy a7aad eba6el el bab

Fahad: entay emsa6la,

I walked to bed,

Fahad: mat3rfeen talbseen shay 6weel 7ag el noom? Entay a9laan 3endch shay 6weel eb kabatich (he went to the closet to check) see what I’m talking about? maku fayda

Me: look who’s talking! Dude, you’re topless. 3al a8al I’m wearing something decent

Fahad: “something decent” you’re barely wearing anything!

Me: enta shaku eb hdoomi… b3dain I’m wearing a pajama, y3ni tabeni albs dara3a

Fahad: 3al a8al lbsay shay 6weel jdami

Me: wallah etha mu 3ajbk you can move to another room

I got into the covers

Fahad: oboch mayzfch 3ala lebsich?

Me: FAHAD! This is none of your business (I yelled at him angrily)

Ma7b a7ad ytkalam 3an lebsi!

Fahad: laish m3a9ba?

I ignored him and closed my eyes.

I woke up the next day feeling more comfortable than usual. I opened my eyelids to notice that I was sleeping on Fahad’s shoulder with my hand on his chest. He was laying on his back, with one arm wrapped around me, and the other was laying on the other side of bed.

I looked up to see his face he was fully awake smiling at me. I was confused.

Fahad: 3ajbtch el nooma chena? (he teased)

I quickly sat up, pushing myself away from him

Me: this is the last time you’re sleeping on the bed

He sat up laying his back on the edge of the bed.

Fahad: are you sure (he smirked)

I gave him a look

He extended his arms until he reached my waist, he quickly pulled me toward him; making my back hit his chest. He held me very closely, dug his face into my neck, softly pressing his lips against it, and was hesitant to let go.

I could feel him smiling.

I felt strange tingling go up my spine. It was … a nice feeling.

Me: Fahad (I whispered)

Fahad: laish lel7een em3a9ba (his face came closer to my cheek) tara mu 8a9di ams kent a6afrch bas

What is he talking about?

Ahaaa estaw3bt, g3d ytklm 3an lebsii,

Fahad: yuba mayhmni kaifch lbsay eli tabeni, adry ench mat7been a7ad y3l8 fa gelt a6africh

Me: wakher (I tried to push his arms away from me) Fahad move… ambeh enta shfeek! Fahad!!

He finally let go.

Me: you’re so weird (I told him as I jumped out of the bed)

Fahad: and you love me

Me: hah you have no idea

7emdellah weshker! Shakla 7alman feni.

I got up went to the bathroom, took a warm shower, I got dressed and ready to leave,

Fahad was eating breakfast, I wasn’t hungry t join him

Me: I’m leaving, tabi shay?

Fahad: wain ray7a?

Me: baroo7 7ag omi, I need to sign some final papers 7ag my contract for the X company

Fahad: contract shnu?

Me: modeling?

DUH!

Fahad: how long does the contract last?

Me: six months, I was going to sign up for a year bas madry a7s ra7 e9eer wayd ‘9a’36 3alai coz I’m already modeling for my mom’s company and a lot of other random ones w with college, I thought it was better to settle with six months

Fahad: your schedule is already full, laish wa8a3tay 3al 3a8d

Me: we’ve been planning this for so long, last time when I went to my mom’s office I finally decided on which company I wanna work with. 3adi its only six months this is really good for my career.

Fahad: entay adra eb hal sowalf, good luck with whatever you do.

Me: thank you, chna a7s ena mu 3ajbk eli ana g3da asawii?

Fahad: ana mu 3ajbni fekra el modeling in general its not just the contract.

Me: oh well, (I shrugged my shoulders) … yallah bye, I don’t wanna be late.

I asked for my own car. I drove my way to my mom’s office, the guards were obviously following,

I talked with my manager and signed all the papers needed.

I was done, I’m officially modeling for the X company.

At around noon, I drove to one of my old friends place.

She knew I was coming over, she was so excited to see me. She invited some other people I know.

I met Ashley when I was 13, at some modeling agency. We continued modeling together until I turned 17. She started acting then and she got so busy with her career, we lost in touch. But here we are again,

Ashley: you should totally come to Andrew’s party tonight. It’s insane! He throws the best parties here… you’re fiancé could come too

Me: nah, I don’t think it’s a good idea, he’s not that type. I would love to go though. I haven’t been to such parties in freshman year in college.

Ashley: I can’t believe you’re getting married

Me: yeah me too.

Ashley: I always thought that you’d be the first one of us to get married, but never that it would be that soon, so tell me about him? I’ve seen his pictures, HE’S HOT!!!

Me: haha please don’t let him hear you… he’s so full of himself… he does what he wants and expects others to listen to him. It gets on my nerves sometimes but I can handle him.

Ashley: do you love him?

Me: Ash we’re getting married!

Ashley: I know, but … is it like an arranged marriage or is it just a typical love story

Me: no, not arranged… we met at a gathering two years ago and we started dating since then … he’s madly in love with me, he wants us to get married now, like this summer but I was too busy to plan the wedding

Haha in his face! Let them think that he’s the one who’s running after me not the other way around!

Ashley: poor guy, he can’t wait to get into your pants!

Me: yeah well, sucks for him.

Ashley: and you too! That guy is freaking hot! How the hell do you sleep with him in the same room and not do it!

Me: its complicated

What the hell am I suppose to tell her!

The door bell interrupted us, the girls came in, we talked, laughed and what not

I missed those days when we were all kids, we used to sit together and complain about the modeling agencies.

We stayed like this until 6 pm. I excused myself to go to the hotel to change my clothes and get ready for Andrew’s party.

I drove to SLS, went up to our suite, Fahad was not there,

I changed my clothes and got ready,

Ashley called me to go down, she was waiting for me in her limo,

When we got there, I was the first to walk I. I was overwhelmed by all the noise. Music blared from the speakers everywhere, people were shouting or singing, or just talking. Alcohol was everywhere.

Lights flashed, distracting me, and soon I found myself on an over crowded dance floor.

While later, Ashley pulled me away from the dance floor and walked me to Andrew’s. She introduced us to each other.

Some random guys would try to hit on me, but I would just push them away and walk away whenever they tried to get too close.

By the time the party was over, all of the girls I came with left the party to hook up with some random guys they met! I know, how cheap! Most of them were probably drunk and didn’t know what they were doing any ways,

Bright Lights 25

2011-12-09T15:32:00.001-04:00

Dedicated to RED <3

__________________

We were both walking to our first spot, which was in a huge garden filled with all kind of flowerbeds and there was a swinging chair in the middle. The view was breath taking. I loved the idea. We sat there on that chair and after every picture we’d change positions. I felt more comfortable being around Fahad today than I was the other day. He was more relaxed which lightened up my mood a little.

After changing our outfits and fixing my make up, we were lead by the crew to the greenhouse for our next photo shoot. The photographer set us in the aisle of the grapes that fell on the sides of a wooden caved path and the trellis.

Me: you’re going to enjoy this.

Fahad: you bet I will (he grinned)

We were asked to look into each other’s eyes, hold hands, lean on the wooden trellis and kiss each other once on the cheek other on the lips!

The photographer asked for Fahad to take off his shirt. He looked mouth watering.

We did everything the photographer asked us to. There was only the kissing shoot that was left.

I hesitated to kiss Fahad. I never made out with him in public. In fact, I never made out with anyone in public.

Fahad didn’t see any reaction from me so he leaned in. I think he noticed how nervous I was. His hand sent shivers up my spine when he touched my chin bringing my face closer to his.

Fahad: la tkhafeen I’m not letting them publish any photo of us kissing. (He whispered)

I tried to act normal but I’m not sure if any one bought it.

Me: 3ayal why kiss? (I whispered back)

Fahad: coz I want to...

I smiled as I felt my cheeks burn.

Fahad: mesta7ya? (He whispered once again)

That was surprising. Saba Mackenzie is never that shy in front of anyone before.

I felt him smile as he let his lips brush over mine, making me ache for the need of his,

He brought his hand down on mine and he played with my hand and kept moving the ring that I was wearing.

I felt spark of electricity travel through my veins.

He was teasing me; he wouldn’t kiss me. He just kept brushing his lips on mine.

I forgot about everyone around me, I closed my eyes, and extended my arm and wrapped it around his waist. His hand held my back. I leaned into him and kissed him hungrily.

Too soon we had to pull away, both grasping for air.

It was when I realized what we were actually doing. The photographer seemed happy with the photos he captured.

The next photo shoot was silly yet graceful. It was taken place in a fountain, which was more of a waterfall, where Fahad has to splash water over me. I bet he's gonna enjoy this the most. Little did he know about my evil little plan on what I was going to do with him. This photo shoot should be fun and full of life.

At first I was sitting on the edge of the fountain crossed legged smiling at Fahad. The photographer captured couple of our pauses. Then we started the water fight; both splashing water at each other. Did I mention Fahad was shirtless? Well, he was. And it drove me crazy. The water drops were teasing me going down his Pecs and abs.

All I really wanted to do was to jump over him and lick his body. I mentally slapped myself. I shouldn't be lusting over Fahad. 'There are hundreds of guys out there are much better looking than him' I kept lying to myself.

I walked closer to him with a seducing gaze, about to start my "evil plan." I walked closer and closer. I placed my hands on his bare chest and looked at him smiled. He smiled back, not knowing what I had in mind. I started to gently push him backwards. He took a couple of steps back and I took a couple forward. We got closer to the waterfall. And that's when I pushed him against it. The water was crashing all over his head. I was about to laugh at him but unexpectedly he pulled me into him, hitting his rocky chest. We were both beneath the waterfall, the water was crashing onto our heads. I was holding my breath and closing my eyes tight. The water was extremely cold. I was shrieking. Fahad was definitely enjoying this. I tried to move away but Fahad wouldn't let go.

3gb ma tsaba7t w khala9t the photographer yelled out to tell us that the shoots were wonderful. He asked us to go get ourselves dry and get ready for the last photo shoot.

My outfit was a high waist destroyed denim mini-shorts with a checked blouse. My hair was still wet. It looked great with the outfit. They fixed my make up, making it look a little messy. I looked like a hardworking sexy cowgirl.

As for my sexy cowboy, Fahad was wearing a low-waist long denim pants, his checked boxers, was showing… as for the top, he was wearing plain white sleeveless shirt.

Our last set was in an old vintage truck,

We started with me on the driver’s seat, hands on the steering wheel. The window was down and Fahad was standing right outside of the vehicle hitting on me.

We were mostly chatting on this set. The photographer wanted to capture how we both act around each other,

We talked/flirted (more like fought), and the photographer kept taking his pictures.

Me: you keep getting better and better in this

Honestly, he should be a model.

Fahad: adry (he wanted to laugh but he settled with a smile)

Me: you’re so full of yourself

The photographer captured what he needed and then he shouted out that he wanted us to be more physical. And instructed Fahad on what to do for his next pause.

Fahad opened the truck’s door, getting closer to me, while I moved my position and let my legs hang out of the truck while I was still sitting on the driver’s seat. My hand was on his masculine shoulder, again just to show off my ring.

He had one hand on my knee; and the other holding the top edge of the truck.

He leaned in and whispered into my ears,

Fahad: 7abeet el photographer

I didn't say anything back,

He loved the photographer just because he told us to be more physical! But then again when it comes to us having our little make out session in our hotel room, he just leaves me and walks out. I don't get it.

Does he like me, or not?

I don't understand where we stand. I don't think we're friends and at the same time, I know for sure that we're not a couple.

Fahad's warm breath on my neck brought my head brought my attention back to him.

He planted a soft kiss on my neck. I pulled back a little to look into his eyes, and smiled.

I think it’s payback time, for walking out on me the other night.

If he decides to tease me with his games, well I better play along.

He kept planting those soft kisses on my neck, moving up to my cheek. All I did was enjoy the feeling. I didn’t react to anything he did.

It was a hard thing to do, but I gotta teach him a lesson and get him this message that I’m not that easy to get. I can control my feelings and I’m not falling for whatever he’s planning on doing.

For the whole photo shoot, even when we had to change our spots, even when I had to sit on his lap, through everything, I didn’t give him what he wanted. I was just pausing.

I knew what Fahad was feeling. He was dying for me to kiss him back. I could see it his eyes. Lust was eating him up. All I gave him was a smirk.

The sun was setting, everyone was exhausted and tired,

The photographer finally called it a wrap.

I jumped off of Fahad’s lap and walked towards the dressing room, Fahad followed. We changed into our clothes.

Lmn khala9na I asked him to take me back to the hotel.

When we reached the hotel and got into our suite, Fahad got into the shower and I laid down on the bed. I made a few phone calls.

I called my manager and told her to cancel all of the other photo shoots. I told her one magazine was enough. I also canceled all of the interviews. It was too soon to talk about the engagement to the press. We could do it at the end of the summer when we get back from Kuwait, if I wanted to.

I was still talking on the phone when Fahad walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

I tried not to pay him any attention, but GOD he looked so HOT!

He walked to the closet to get dressed,

When he finished he came back, and as soon as I hung up he asked,

Fahad: shesalfa?

Me: nothing… I canceled everything, we’re not doing any more photo shoots or interviews.

Fahad: Laaish (he asked in surprise) gelteelhm? (still men9dm)

Me: dude, I didn’t tell anyone about our secret! I just think ena 9awarna wayd mala da3i we over do it w enkhali el press eshikoon fena.

Fahad: laish eshikon?

Me: coz these things are personal, we are not suppose to tell them about it so easily. They have to come and ask for it. They should find the story themselves.

Fahad: bs e7na ma nabeehm e3arfoon 8e9atna…

Me: they’re not going to find one. We don’t have a story Fahad.

Fahad: if they dig into this, e7na eli ra7 nakelha

Me: no they wont know anything. L2n ma7ad yadry 3an our secret.

Fahad: okay, kaifich saway eli eray7ch… (He walked to the door and turned to me) ana mashi tabeen shay?

Me: salamtik

I think he left to see his friends.

I wasn’t ready to sleep yet. I decided to look at the photo’s we took today. The photographer sent me all of the photos; they were not edited yet. He wanted me to pick the ones I want to be in the magazine.

I found Fahad’s laptop on the desk. I grabbed it and walked back to bed. I turned it on, unfortunately, his laptop asked me for the password.

I hesitated about asking him for his password. After thinking about it, I decided to text him. I was bored and there was nothing to do.

Saba Alflani: Wats ur laptop pass?
Fahad Alflani: Roweena
Fahad Alflani: Capitalize the R

That was easy, he didn’t even ask why,

7aram his password is after his sister, allah yer7amha…

I inserted the flash drive and started looking at the photos. There were some behind the scene videos, but I didn’t look at them.

…

I was too busy looking and laughing at the photos, I didn’t realize the time. Fahad walked in, he was surprised to see me still awake.

Fahad: shga3d tsaween?

Me: don’t worry, ma t3abatht eb your laptop, I’m just looking at the photos we took today.

Bright Lights 24

2011-11-30T00:56:00.002-04:00

Dedicated to the Anonymous who commented three times on the last post ;p :*

_________________________

I woke up the next day, I turned around and Fahad was nowhere to be seen, I got up got into the bathroom, got dressed, applied some make up on,

As soon as I was done Fahad walked in and took his shirt off,

I was just standing there with a huge question mark on my head,

He walked to the closet and grabbed another shirt and wore it on,

Me: did you sleep?

Fahad: eeh, ana gaym mn el 9b7 w 6l3t akaml shghli… omch dagat your photo shoot esa3a 12 w nu9

It was 9:45 am,

Me: OUR photo shoot!

Fahad: eeh eli ohwa

I was so excited about today's photo shoot, its gonna be outdoors

Fahad: khala9tay?

I nodded

Fahad: yalla msheena?

Me: yallah

We walked together without the bodyguards to the car and then Fahad drove away

Me: wain ray7een?

Fahad: matabeen etraygeen?

Me: bs khanroo7 starbucks akhthli coffee w croissant

He drove to the nearest starbucks, we went in Fahad went to get our order,

While I was waiting for him, a little girl shaklha 7 years old came to me,

Girl: my mom has the same shirt (pointing at my top)

Me: awwww you're so adorable… what’s your name?

Girl: Kaitlyn,

Me: nice to meet you Kaitlyn, I’m Saba … I like your outfit, it’s cute!!!!

Fahad: ha lgeteelich rfeeja,

Me: Kaitlyn this is Fahad … Fahad this is Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn: Do you have a daughter?

Me: haha no .. (I turned to face Fahad) waaay tyanin 9a7

Kaitlyn: I have to go, mommy is calling

Me: tshaaaaawg!!!!! Tgooli her mom 3ndaha nafs my top

Fahad: et7been el yahal

Me: bas el banat, ma a7b el 9bayan

Fahad: laish

Me: l2n ma ysm3oon el kalam .. My cousins 7adhm shyaa6een

Fahad: tara yahel 3an yahel yafrig .. Kel wa7d w tarbyta

Me: I know bas still ... Y3ni if I wanted to adopt a kid I would a adopt a baby girl

Fahad: shnu !! (he looked at me min9dm) adopt!! tzawjay w yebelich yahel laish etebaneen!

Me: 3ady etha abi yahel I would adopt bas I'm not ready for such commitment ... B3dain mnu gal eni abi atzawaj

Fahad stared at me and shook his head left and right y3ni mu 3ajba eli geltla ... I giggled as I ate my croissant

Fahad: yallah khal9ay 3ashan namshi

Me: laish wain bnroo7 taw el nas 3al shoots

Fahad: Dana bent 3ami hnee tabi tshofch .. Et3rfenha, bent 3mtch Mona.

I stared at him chena a7ad tawa 6agni 6raag!!!

I hate my cousin and I hate her mom ... I cant believe she's here and she wants to see me khair enshallah mn meta ehya tes2al 3ani a9lan

Me: I’m not coming … besides 3endna photo shoot, we’re gonna be late

Fahad: yamdeena ensalm 3aleeha w enroo7 el location.

Me: Fahad I can’t

Fahad: 9aba bent 3mitch yaya etsalm 3alaich,

Me: there are things you don’t know about me or my family.

Fahad: a3arf kel shay 3anch ... Bs walaw mahma kan hatheli ahalch

Me: ohoooo Fahad ! La tdakhal baini w bain ahal obooi kelish mu nag9a ana

I hate 3mity w bent'ha ldaraja mu 6abe3ia... 3abalhm ohma sharefaat Roma ... enashboni 3ala kel shay, kanaw eshayshoon oboi 3ashan maykhaleeni a6l3 m3a my cousins w my friends ... Now ma ygdroon esawoon shay coz I’m over 21 ... Baba is not the type that controls bas ohma wayd y'9gh6oon 3aleeh eli ana at'9ayag w atnarfaz... Wai3 akrahom

May7boon lebsi egoloon eni ma ast7i and all that. bas el mshkela ana lebsi bel Kuwait mu nafs lebsi eb America wayd me7tarma nafsi ma albs g9eer wala shay 7ali 7al ay bnaya kuwaitia mu mt7ajba

Let’s not forget salfa M7amad and what her mom did to me.

Fahad: enzain bas roo7ay salmaay w 3gb seeda enroo7 7ag el photo shoot

Me: ana mabi ashoofha la ehya wala omha !!! adry ena yamdi ensalm 3aleeha w ng3d m3aha bas maaabi, enshallah tefham y3ni, khalaa9 tabi etshoofha ro7laha broo7k

Fahad: enzain laish em3a9ba entay al7een

Me: bas chethy

Fahad: yalla gomay

I followed him silently 7ady kent m3a9ba, I got into the car and he drove

We reached the mall, Dana was there waiting for us... I really don’t want to know what that bitch is up to this time,

Fahad: shfeech m6angra tara Dana bnt 3mtch

Me: (I sighed) Khatwalli g6ee3a

Fahad: yahel yahel maku fayda

I gave him a look and walked away, knt 7adi m3a9ba, I wanted to kill him.

He followed and walked next to me, until we reached the cafe eli ehya kanat feh,

As soon as she saw us she ran and gave me a hug,

Dana: haaaaaaaai 9abbaaaa shlooonch waaay 7ady meshtaagatlch

Oh pah-lease, stop the act!!

Me: hala (fake smile)

She turned to Fahad w salmt 3aleh

Fahad: shlonch? Shloon elahal?

Dana: tmaam, esalmoon 3aleekom (smiling at me)

Me: allah esalmhm

She chatted a bit with Fahad, I just sat there not bothering to hear their conversation

Fahad: yallah e7na masheen... Bgheetay shay? Nag9ch shay?

Dana: adig 3alaik etha abi shay, ma tga9er

G6ee3a 9ij ma test7i, b3d etdig 3aleh

Fahad: yala 3ayal salmay,

He left me alone with her,

Dana: 7ayati 9aba nseet abarklich, mabrook 3ala your engagement (she said as she was eyeing the diamond ring I was wearing)

Me: ebark feech, el fal lech

I really hope she gets married, 3al a8al ra7 telha m3a raylha w tensani w she wont bother me ever!!

Dana: yalla t3allay el Kuwait ensaweeelch engagement party

Eeh mu ana nag9tch entay w omch...

Me: eeh mashkoora yalla ana ast2thn

I said goodbye and walked to Fahad

Me: Fahad? Dana w omha yadroon ena e7na not really engaged?

Fahad: la2

Me: a7s ena yadroon, hatheeli e3arfoon kelshay staghferallah

Fahad: tara people change .. Give her a chance

Me: sorry Fahad I get ena she's your cousin and her mom murt 3amik bas I don’t care eli yani menhm mu shwaya

Fahad: bs mahma kan hatheli ahalch

Me: ana metbarya mnhm .. 3afia ahal enta lw tadry hatheli shnu

Fahad: ana a3rfch w a3rfhm

Me: yeah I get it Mr. Google mashallah kelshay t3arf

He chuckled

We drove around LA and then we went to the studio,

When we got there, the staff greeted us and took us to the dressing rooms to get ready.

I took off my clothes and wore my robe and soon later the make up artist came in to do her magic. After I was done with my make up they fixed my blond long hair.

Through all of that I couldn’t make Fahad shut up, he couldn’t stop complaining about everything they used on him.

Later on, They gave me a sleeveless, knee length vintage summer dress to put out, it was cute.

Fahad loved the dress,

Fahad: awal mara ashofch talbseen shay emsatar!

Even though the dress was sleeveless he called it “emsatar.” I guess he got so used to me wearing mini shorts at camp.

Me: you’re going to enjoy this.

Fahad: you bet I will (he grinned)

Bright Lights 23

2011-11-24T02:50:00.001-04:00

Happy thanksgiving ;*

___________________

I got into the suite, Fahad was not there yet, I was exhausted so I changed into my mini shorts and a matching tank top.

I was checking my bbm, when I saw a bc from Fahad, Fahad rarely sends bc’s.

Fahad Alflani: Someone Hacked into a Blondes computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital
Saba Alflani: u'r such a dick!
Fahad Alflani: ro7ay khemday
Saba Alflani: go eat shit
Fahad Alflani: mabi aklich
Saba Alflani: way3a

I captured my screen and sent it to 7aneen

Saba Alflani: PING!!!
Saba Alflani: PING!!!
Haneen Alflani: kaaaaaaaak 7adkm zouqa … wallah laygeen 3ala b3'9
Saba Alflani: 7aywan mal ten3l.. Wait badizlich his DP tawa emghayrha!

SENT!!!

Haneen Alflani: :o waaaaaaaaay eyaaaaaaniiiin :'(
Haneen Alflani: bakh6blich eyaaah waaay shnu hatha =))
Haneen Alflani: Ya 7mara khaleeh e7bch!! Eshaaaawg!! :’(
Haneen Alflani: Lw mu 3aboodi 7abeeby chan kh6bta 7ag nafsii!!
Haneen Alflani: Shofaay his abs :'( babchi bagool 7ag 3abood kel yoom eroo7 el gym!!!
Saba Alflani: shda3wa la tmooteen
Haneen Alflani: Waaay ya bakhtch!
Saba Alflani: shnu ya bakhti! I'm not really marrying him!
Haneen Alflani: eeh hayn!
Saba Alflani: Bitch sh8a9dch?
Haneen Alflani: wala shay O:)
Saba Alflani: yalla gn banam
Haneen Alflani: namat 3aleech el 3afya

I sighed as I switched off the bedroom’s light and wandered over to my bed, crawling under the covers. I felt myself drift to sleep hoping tomorrow would be better.

Some time later, as I slept I heard the faint sound of the door opening and clicking shut and after a few minutes of the sounds of soft movement I felt the mattress dip beside me.

I was comforted by the steady rise and fall of Fahad’s chest against my back. I drifted back to sleep with a slight smile on my face.

…

Me: WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

…: The only reason I did this is to make it less suspicious that I am actually your bodyguard.

Me: but why, you could’ve at least told me.

…: Your father hired me to be your secret bodyguard. W 3mitch Mona hired me to be your boyfriend.

So it was true! I was too shocked to reply.

…: I was going to follow you around every second of the day and every day of the week. This way people would think of us as some love sick couple who just couldn’t stand to be away from each other.

It took me a while to get all of this in my head.

Me: what do you mean by what people would think!!! NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT US! NO ONE!!!

I started to cry! This can’t be happening. This can’t be true.

Mohammad is my life. I love him to death. What’s happening here?

Mohammad: and that’s why I’m breaking everything’s off!

Me: but why? how could you be my bodyguard. And how could you work for that bitch Mona!! She hired you to fuck my life up!! didn’t you even love me at all?!!

Mohammad: shtabeen mni, akaml 7yati m3ach w ana ma abeech, w ahid 7yaty waray. Ahid ahali w murti w weldi!!

Me: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU’RE MARRIED! After everything we’ve been through,

And everything went black,

…

I jumped out of my place, breathing in,

Fahad: 9aba, are you okay?

It took me a minute to realize where I was and what Fahad just asked and then I replied,

Me: yeah (I nodded my head)

Fahad: nightmare?

Me: more like a flash back

Is wish I could erase this memory! I just wanna forget that pain. I’m tired.

I decided to go and get a glass of warm milk, in hopes that it would calm me enough to get even just a few hours of sleep. I got out of bed and walked my way into the kitchen, grabbing a small mug and filling it with milk. After putting the cup in the microwave and turning it on, I grabbed a chair and sat down.

I felt someone walk in right behind me,

Fahad: 9aba? (He asked in a groggy voice)

Me: (I turned to face him) tabi warm milk?

He shook his head meaning no, and grabbed a chair and sat close to me. He held one of my hands between his. It brought shivers down my spine.

I just sat there silently looking at him.

After a couple of minutes of staring at each other, the microwave beeped done, I pulled my hands slowly and walked to the microwave to get my warm milk.

Fahad: Grab your milk w t3alay

I just nodded, grabbed my milk from the microwave, and followed him out of the kitchen and sat on one of the couches that were by our bed.

He smiled at me as he sat up and stretched.

We just sat there silently next to each other kelwa7d wayha emsa6el manadry shesalfa,

Fahad: sh7elamtay feh?

I hesitated to talk to him about it. I was afraid to let him in. He already knows everything about me. I don’t want him to see my weak side. I’m not always that weak. I didn’t want to talk about m7amad coz I was done with him. I’ve already wasted so much years crying over him. t3abt w ana abchi 3ashana. Ohwa entaha mn 7ayaty 7aseet mala da3i I talk about him. besides I shouldn’t be opening up to Fahad. I don’t know if he cares about me. mabi at3alag eb Fahad. Maybe Emma is right, I shouldn’t be doing this.

Me: It was the last conversation I had with m7amad. I know ena it’s been a long time since the break up but 3adi, I get those nightmares every once in a while.

It’s like a reminder not to trust anyone.

Fahad: l2nch wayd tfakreen feeh

It’s maybe because I think a lot of the people around me and I’m so scared of losing them.

Me: I don’t. khala9 it was in the past I’ve moved on. Mu ga3da agoolk eni I forgot him. bel3aks y3ni he’s my first love, I can’t forget him bas I did move on. W el7emdellah ena ana w m7amad ma kamalna ma3a b3’9 l2n we were totally different people. Ana ra’9ya beli allah katba lena. E7na 8e9a w entaheena. I forgive him for everything. I knew he did what he did for a reason, he wanted the money, and what baba and 3mity Mona offered him was everything he wished for. I don’t care about him any more. allah ra7 e7asba ohwa w 3mity 3ala eli sawo feni… … … I don’t know why I get those nightmares. I am so tired from those memories, I wish I could erase all of them.

M7amad was secretly my bodyguard, I didn’t know that until it was too late… My dad hired him … and we had our story… my dad didn’t know I was in love with him until later, when I found out about him being my bodyguard… I also found out that aunt Mona, the one who hates my mom, paid him to make me fall for him… it’s crazy, things got out of control and he left without a goodbye! … months later, I found him and I went to talk to him, I just didn’t believe it when I heard all of the things I heard about him. It turned out that he was married and he had a son… he was cheating on his wife with me, I felt so cheap.

He just sat there, studying me. Which was quite awkward. I took a sip of the milk to try and hide my face. I felt embarrassed about telling him all of this. This was my past. This proves to him how stupid I was for believing M7amad.

I felt even more embarrassed when he didn’t say anything.

Me: I’m sorry, madry shga3da akharb6. Ignore what I said,

I was standing up, I wanted to walk away from him, but he caught my wrist, not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough so I couldn’t wiggle it out. I was forced to sit back down,

Fahad: la t2asfeen. I’m in the same boat as you. fahmich a3arf entay shnu et7seen. Mareet beli entay kentay feeh ymkin worse. El 7emdellah 3ala kel 7al. I’m glad you feel you can talk to me. lmn s2alt kelish ma twa83tch tjawbeen l2n adry hal shay mayngal 7ag ay a7ad.

I placed the cup of milk on the table.

Me: ma kent abi agoolk bas you already know my story, 9a7? There wasn’t anything I was hiding. B3dain its salfa 8adeema, I’m letting go. You should too, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but everything happens for a reason.

He smiled.

I took the cup and stood up. I smiled down at him again, and started walking towards the kitchen.

I felt him following me. I placed the cup in the sink and turned around to find him standing dangerously close to me.

I looked up to see his face. I took a step towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight.

Me: thank you

I whispered as I kissed him on the cheek and left him standing there in the middle of the kitchen.

I smiled as I walked back to bed.

Bright Lights 22

2011-11-19T15:34:00.001-04:00

Sorry guys, i was so busy with midterms last week ma gdart aktblkm post,

i will try my best to post another one this week ;*

thanks for reading

Enjoy ;**

_________________________________

And just like that he walked away and out of the room!

Is he for real?

I sat there so confused, what was happening? … I decided to call 7aneen,

Me: y3ni I kissed a lot of guys before but none of them walked out on me! it’s always me who walks away!

7aneen: maybe it's his way of saying sorry or thank you or whatever ..

We kept talking about Fahad,

7aneen: madry … agool ana dekht abi anam … entay shoofay 8e9tch m3a your boyfriend

Me: he’s not my boyfriend!!!

7aneen: okay chub bye *hangs up*

I changed into my PJ’s and got into bed. I felt my eyelids get heavy and I slowly drifted away into a peaceful slumber.

…

I opened my eyes and found Fahad peacefully on the other side of the bed. He looked so cute when he’s asleep. This is the first time I see him sleeping.

Oh wait, 7mar why is he sleeping next to me! After what he did yesterday, … I pushed that thought away and decided to wake him up to go out,

Me: FAHAD GET UP AND GET READY, WE’RE GOING OUT.

I walked into the bathroom, washed my face. Then I went to my closet and got dressed.

Me: FAHAD WHY ARE YOU STILL sleeping!!!

It’s almost 11 am! I’m so excited, today’s photo shoot is gonna be outdoors.

Me: FAHAD! … GOOM! The photo shoot is at 3

I pulled my pillow and threw it at him

uff uff hatha metaa begoom!! shasawi feeh!

I jumped next to him in bed w trab3t. I started nudging his shoulder,

Me: FAHAD! I didn’t know you were a heavy sleeper.

Fahad: estaghferallah entay akhas men khadamatna! (he opened his eyes and said with a SEXY/sleepy voice)

Me: HEY!

Fahad: khaleeni anam ams rad met2akher!

Me: ma7ad galik red met2akher! GOOM! Abi a6la3

Fahad: gmt gmt yal 7ana shtabeen! (He sat up straight)

Me: why are you still in bed, yallah ba6la3 maleet … tara ba6la3 bdoonk!

Fahad: chan 6ela3tay!

Me: kheft a6la3 b3dain ma teyy el photo shoot elyoom

Fahad: ohoo b3d elyoom?

Me: w bacher b3d!

Fahad: ana mu gelt one magazine!

Me: No, we’re doing two!

Fahad: ra7 et9awreen 7ag el second one bro7ich!

Me: mo 3ala kaifk, ra7 teyy m3ay!

Fahad: entay 7ana Allah e3een eli ebyakhthch! (He jumped off of bed) I don’t blame M7amad for leaving you.

I stared at him blankly! Did he just say M7amad wela I was imagining it? I was still shocked and staring at Fahad. My eyes went all blurry, I couldn’t see Fahad’s reaction…

Fahad: (I felt him sit next to me) 9aba? …(He placed his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off) asf wallah mu 8a9dy

How did he even know about M7amad! How dare he mention his name in front of me!

I covered my face with my hands hiding my tears… Fahad sat there without a word… He had no idea how to deal with me

I don’t know for how long I was sitting there. Fahad was there next to me…

I wiped the couple of tears that escaped my eyes and looked at him.

Me: Get ready, I’m hungry let’s go grab lunch.

I did not want to talk about it, especially not to him.

He stood up without a word and went to the bathroom… I, on the other hand, grabbed my make up bag and fixed my face.

How did he even know Him!

He got dressed and we both walked out of the suite,

Me: wain tabi takel?

Fahad: Dan Tana’s, I made a reservation already

And that was it … without a word, we went to the valet to get our car. Fahad drove to Santa Monica. The ride was silent.

We reached there in no time, got in, and sat down. I knew what I wanted so I placed the menu to side and started talking,

Me: how did you know him? (I closed my eyes waiting for him to reply)

Fahad: geltlch a3arf kelshay 3anich

Me: shm3na elyoom, you brought his name up?

Fahad: 9aba, … I didn’t mean to..

The waitress interrupted us… We told her about our order and she left, we waited for our food quietly,

While waiting, I texted my manager and told her to reschedule today’s photo shooting to the day after tomorrow.

Me: I’m over him… its been almost four years now… its just hard remembering the pain he left me with (he could hear the sadness in my voice)

Fahad: adry, 7as feech (he said trying to make me feel better)

Me: no, you don’t! … enta 3abalik I’m hurt because he left me? Ekhasy … I’m hurt because I was betrayed! I trusted him and he didn’t deserve my trust. I was hurt because my dad was behind all of this, behind everything that happened to me.

Fahad: oboch kan yabi ma9la7tch

Me: haha tadry chum mara sm3t hal jomla!

Fahad: eli 9ar feech wayd 2athar 3ala obooch

Me: I hope he learned his lesson… don’t get me wrong, I forgive him. obooi ma kan 8a9da eni a7b … (I stayed quiet)

Minutes later, they brought the food, and we started eating… it was kindda awkward,

Me: How do you know so much about me?

Fahad: (he smiled) feh ashya2 3raft’ha mn Rawan Allah yer7maha, she was obsessed with you. w wayd ashya2 mn obooch … w fee ashya2 ana bro7i 3raft’ha

Me: Wasan told me ena ekhtk was my number one fan (I giggled)

Fahad: (he smiled) she was … kent ana eli mbtlish, knt asm3 esmch malyoon mara belyoom … 9warich kanat kel mokan emnathara eb baitna

Me: seriously!

Fahad: kanat et7n 3ala omi takh6bch 7agi!

Me: ambeeeh … were you close to her?

Fahad: more than you think

Me: Allah yer7amha

That’s so sad.

Fahad: feech wayd ashya2 et’thakerni feha

Me: that’s good right?

Fahad: kindda

Fahad asked for the check and paid,

Fahad: yalla gomay la net2akhar 3ala elt9weer

Me: I rescheduled.

Fahad: laish? (he asked surprised)

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, he understood.

Fahad: 3ayal shbtsaween elyoom

Me: I’m going to my mom’s workshop eli hnee eb LA w 3gb I’m gonna stay with my manager to finish up some business

Fahad: khosh 3ayal ana b3d akhal9 chum shaghla

We both walked out … he drove me to my mom’s workshop and left.

My mom’s workers greeted me on my way to her office. She was there talking to her employees.

Mom: Hey dear, are you okay? (she knows I rescheduled the meeting)

Me: yeah I’m fine… where are the dresses?

So basically all I did was work … I tried some of the dresses and told my mom what to change and what not. Et7b thou8i, fa dayman takhth rayy.

Later on, I sat with my manager and discussed my next move in my modeling career. She reminded me of the couple of famous designers who wants me to sign a contract with them to model for their lines. This was discussed a month ago but it’s time to finally decide whether I should work with them or not. We thought about it and I discussed it with my mom and we all agreed on one. I signed all the papers that were needed and there were some more papers to be signed but my manager said she’s gonna come over sometime and finish everything up before I head back to camp.

My mom’s driver drove me back to the SLS hotel. Few paparazzi’s were there but as usual I managed to escape from them.

I got into the suite, Fahad was not there yet. I was exhausted so I changed into my mini shorts and a matching tank top.

I was checking my bbm, when I saw a bc from Fahad, Fahad rarely sends bc’s.